Real or Not Real?

How I Met Your Mother Facts:

1.) They all drink Vodka Cranberries
2.) The Olive Theory of one partner in the couple liking olives and the other doesn’t, is a true thing.
3.) Girls who quote lines from “Ghostbusters” are hot.
4.) Guys who are architects are hot.
5.) Suits are impressive.
6.) It is not a good idea to “ralf and run”.
7.) Long distance relationships rarely work.
8.) Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.; however after 2 a.m. is when the stuff of legends is born.
9.) Kahlua + Root Beer = Tootsie Roll.
10.) Lemon law is legal and practical.
11.) Do not dump a girl on an answering machine… on her birthday… then find her again three years later… date her for three weeks… and then dump her again… on her birthday.
12.) Some women find guys with muscular legs sexy.
13.) Never say “Smurf Penis” on the first date.
14.) Bring a girl up to “the roof” and she is putty in your hands.
15.) Relationship-winning cupcakes are delicious.
16.) Some mistakes need to be made, even though you know it is a mistake.
17.) Sometimes girls make good “bros”.
18.) Slap bet can solve things as effectively as paper-rock-scissors.
19.) Porcelain tub keeps a suit from wrinkling.
20.) At every party there is at least one girl, who knows absolutely nobody at that party.
21.) If you ever get into a tough spot simply say, “We are international business men, on our way to an international business meeting.”
22.) You could sit around and wait for life to give you the answers, or you can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it.
23.) Swords on the wall of your apartment makes the place that much more awesome.
24.) Never make a tape of sorrow to your ex-girlfriend…because you never know who might find out about it.
25.) Not-playing laser tag is worse than playing laser tag, because laser tag is awesome.
26.) Life is going to be rough for nerds that don’t know math.
27.) How some girls dress for prom is decided by going ho, or going home.
28.) A girl that can insult something you hate by referencing something you love, makes her that much hotter.
29.) If you don’t laugh, it just seems mean.
30.) Frosting makes some people lie.
31.) If your really desperate, the only reason to wait a month before having sex is if the girl is 17 years and 11 months old.
32.) You probably won’t score with a girl if you open with the line, “Daddy’s home.”
33.) Children don’t care about your occupation, they just want to see you do magic.
34.) When the problem is too great, don’t think think think. Just do do do.
35.) A bachelor party always has a groom, a best man, a guy who speaks only in cliches, a guy who disappears at the beginning of the night and doesn’t show up until the end, and a Barney.
36.) A good mix should be all rise.
37.) The groom may have a say in the wedding, but the bride always wins.
38.) A cougar is an older woman in her 40s or 50s, single, and on the prowl for a younger man.
39.) Crazy eyes are indicators of future mental instability.
40.) It’s not a good idea to say “I Love You” on a first date.
41.) One of the 24 similarities between girls and fish is that they are both attracted to shiny objects.
42.) It’s not awkward unless we let it be awkward.
43.) Canadian cops are called “Mounties”.
44.) As the sock monkey says: “Self-Respect is overrated!”
45.) Brunch is for couples ONLY.
46.) The only hot girls that troll the Internet for dudes are crazy, hookers or dudes.
47.) The 80’s didn’t come to Canada until like ‘93.
48.) Being single is not like being a kid in a candy store; it’s more like living in a lawless, post-apocalyptic wasteland.
49.) It’s simple physics, when the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves too.
50.) Hanging out at a coffee place is not nearly as fun as hanging out in a bar.
51.) When you get sad, you should stop being sad and be awesome instead.
52.) The whole point of getting drunk; you do things that you’d never do in a million years if you were sober.
53.) Relationships are like a freeway; they have many exits, a carpool lane, and you can stay on as long as you want.
54.) There is a difference between effect and affect.
55.) The longer you are with somebody the greater chance of hitting the “Oh Moment”.
56.) While baseball, guns and strippers can help, the only thing that can really heal a broken heart is time.
57.) The Platinum Rule - Never LOVE thy neighbor.
58.) If one does break the Platinum rule, they will go through the following stages: Attraction, Bargaining, Submission, Perks, The Tipping Point, Purgatory, Confrontation, Fallout, and Co-existence.
59.) Mayo is a good ingredient for anything in Minnesota.
60.) Zitch Dog is a good car game.
61.) A Potato Vodka+ Cranberry Juice+ A Bullion Cube = the Thanks-tini.
62.) Just getting in the door doesn’t count.
63.) Battleship is not an internationally recognized code name for sex.
64.) Lawyering someone is tripping them up by asking a series of questions.
65.) Baskice ball is a better name than iceket ball and there are no rules to baskice ball, you just wail on each other.
66.) The only good part about backgammon is the gammon, the rest belongs in the trash.
67.) I’m gonna be (500) by The Proclaimers is a good driving song.
68.) Karaoke was not invented by someone named Kerry Okie, but is Japanese for Empty Orchestra.
69.) Wood glue should not be used to construct tables.
70.) Do bad things, and good things happen. However this typically happens when you act like a jerk.
71.) Just remember: Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just end up flat on your back, flailing around in a big pile of horse crap.
72.) The “Bro Code” is a list of important bro rules such as Bros before Hos, Bros cannot make eye contact during a devil’s threesome, A bro should always says yes, & A bro in a timely manner will alert the other bro of a girl fight.
73.) Big boards equals big luck.
74). Lets say your leg is going to be chopped off tomorrow, will you sit all day and do nothing or you’ll go out, run and do awesome air kicks?!
75.) Never invite ex’s to your wedding.
76.) A LOT of people that live in New York hate the people in New Jersey.
77.) A solid opening line is “Haaave you met…?”
78.) The Naked Man (when the man poses naked in the room after a first date, waiting for the women to return and thus get sex) works 2 out of every 3 times.
79.) There’s 50 good reasons to have sex (49 + Love).
80.) Mexican food + Indian food = Chinese food.
82.) Lightsabers will be a viable object in households in 3-5 years.
83.) Canadian aren’t afraid of the dark. It just that….nobody likes it!
84.) Want a free doughnut? Just bump into a Canadian.
85.) You regret 5-word sentences like “Dude, lets open a bar!”
86.) If you need a great job, all you need to do is just to make an awesome video resume, then turn down the first two offers you get for something better.
87.) Nothing, And Everything, Is Possimpible.
88.) There are four possible motives for having Lunch with an Ex. 1.) They want to get back together. 2.) They want to kill you. 3.) They actually do want to give you your stuff back. 4.) To rub in your face how cool their doing.
89.) There is nothing funnier than a chimpanzee wearing 2 tuxedos.
90.) Being screwed by your two best friends is called a “sneaky snowplow” in Canada.
91.) According to some, girls whose names end with ‘ly’ are always dirty.
92.) Jesus created the “three day” waiting period for calling a girl.
93.) Sometimes, the only difference between real life and a porno is that real life has better lighting.
94.) A Canadian marriage is a lot like their money or their army. Nobody takes it seriously.
95.) Paralegals DO NOT like to be treated like prostitutes.
96.) “Hats” should always be used before “Native American Headdress”
97.) Don’t say the word jinx out-loud, you might actually jinx it.
98.) Its okay for your friends not to like your girlfriends, but its not okay for your girlfriends not to like your friends.